What do Indians think about virginity? What does the Indian youth think about love? How do we see sex? There are many questions that need to be answered; and answered not in the confinements of four walls, rather in public debates and forums. The good thing is that people have started talking about these things. A social evolution, as it’s already in process, must be discussed thoroughly.
When a very acclaimed critic of this modern India, Mr. Ashutosh, (unfortunately wasting his talent with Arvind in Aam Aadmi Party) claimed in his recent blog that virgin girls are not seen well in this modern society of our country, I was compelled to think unwell about the mindset of ‘sir’. However, despite Ashutosh being on the wrong-foot, there is something in his argument that questions about the emerging generation in India. What do we think about virginity? What do we really think about it? What is our opinion about love? How do we see sex? Before going into the details of all these, are we still comfortable in discussing these issues? Well, let’s talk it off today.
I am very sceptic about the notion ‘true love’ today. Don’t get me wrong on this, but this is a grim reality. The concept of blind dates and ‘checking on dates’ has pushed aside the feeling called love. The love that used to be shy, hesitant, slow and steady has been packed inside a ‘dil ki deal’ and has long ago been sent on a tour to some undisclosed island. We, the young population of this country, want everything fast, and just fast! It doesn’t matter to us even if this ‘fastness’ stays long or lasts in a day. Am I wrong? ‘what the ))$k yar! 4-5 din se pichhe pada hun but she isn’t even looking at me! chhod hata use. dusri pe line marta hun.’ This is what a typical ‘guy remark’ means. For those four or five days this ‘he’ followed that ‘she’ can you call an adjective as precious as love? I guess no… Not only the boys, girls are also true competitors of boys in this regard. And I think it’s, in fact, a good thing. Boys only don’t have that edge when it comes to the fast-track love. These short-term affairs, as casual as they are, have become very casual today. For a young society like India, I will say it’s alright. Let them take things lightly when they are quite young for these things. With time, people do understand what is something like true love and the concept of a soulmate. You just cannot expect a four class boyfriend of a 3rd standard girl to understand if she, and vice-versa, he, are the soulmates of each-other or not! India is going ahead.
In the 60s when Raj Kapur used to dance around the trees with his heroines, sex was something exclusively meant to remain within the four walls, between two close people and the darkness of the night. Today, however, sex has come out almost in the public in our country. You can see the couples indulged in each other in public parks, public places like discos etc. I don’t want to get into it, but, for sure, it had to be like this a day! Society is a flux and it’s prone to the movement. We can’t keep it like it was and also can’t promise that it’d be like this. We discuss sex in the public; we watch sex in the movies; we read sex in the bestselling books; we see sex scandals in the politics as well! Except for political scandals, there is no harm. Sex is an indispensable part of our life and the more we understand it the better it is. Nevertheless, there must be an umbrella guidance – youths must be saved from running wild and knowing just a little more than what they should. Yes, sex is also a part of the casual love affairs today and in a developing society, you can’t keep from it. Today we have the concept of live-in-relationships, open-end-relationships and also the one-night-stands. Though the grandfather and perhaps father generation of the youths might never digest these, these things will be a normal part of our society in the coming generation. I remember that Bharath Krishna wrote in his novel Guy on The Sidewalk that in India, virginity is nothing to boast about. If the circumstances are favourable, rarely a person would like to remain a virgin until marriage. Take it good or bad, this is somewhat the reality today! There is nothing bad about it either.
However, in the rush of the things, that innocence of first love and that perennial hesitation of the couple have somewhere been left. The younger generation of India wants everything, including love and sex, to be very fast. Love; love for a day or two; we have new ones waiting, and the life goes on… Accept it or not, we have, at least 90%, the same story to tell. Today, no heart breaks for more than a week! Welcome to the young India and what it wants have already been answered by an eminent scholar who will sell the stories of this generation with ‘added spice’ for better taste!